Yes this blog is about relationships, but not the one you’re thinking of. (My marriage is fantastic!) This is about my dearest, oldest friendship. As most of you know, I’ve had the same best friend since the day she was born. It was inevitable our parents were BFFs as well! hehe Well, her and I moved to a brand new town and started a new college together and of course were roommates last year. It breaks my heart to say that to this day.. we do not speak at all; or at least not sincere to each other. It is a civil/fake conversation. This blog is in no way intended to talk negatively about her, but to blog about/ask questions about friendships.
As I said before, we’ve been friends since the day she was born. Sometimes not the closest of friends but always she was my best friend. The one I told everything to, the little girl that shared my BEST/FRIENDS necklace with that our moms bought us claires, the asain in my Charlie’s Angels duo, along with my sister. She was one of us, and as far as I was concerned was just a third sister. Things changed when we moved to college, and relationships started becoming a big part of our lives. But is that really what ruined it? I don’t think so. I think it’s the way we handled it. I am a firm believer in treat others as you want to be treated. If you want your boyfriend to live with you and your roommates for an entire month, be absolutely welcoming when her boyfriend stays for a few days. This was just the beginning. Until February of this year, we were either inseperable, or yelling at each other (which was usually resolved in a day or two – hey, it’s hard living with a friend) But since Feb. we haven’t talked, until I got engaged. As I said this blog is in no way intended to bash her, so I won’t detail ways that she hurt my feelings, but she did A LOT. However, being friends for 20 years (I got engaged in June) made me think that although we hadn’t talked from February until then she should still be a part of my big day. The ending result of that was, that she talked badly about my marriage the day before it was official, and as a bridesmaid did not help in taking down the decorations but instead complained of wanting to leave. At first, I was extremely Angry. This was my day, and you had no right to act that way. But, she thought some things were said about her that weren’t, so instead of talking to me about it – she retaliated in acting so disrespectful during those few days. We eventually made up and I thought from then on we would go back to building our friendship, but instead this is what I’ve found: she still disrepects my marriage, I have tried making amends with her and she acts as if we’re in high school and says to our mutual friends ”i knew she’d miss me” …..and the last straw for me was the fact that I left my t.v. there when I moved out because I didn’t have anywhere to put it at the time and when she moved out she told the girl that lived there next to ”throw it away, the day she turned her keys in.. nothing here belonged to her anymore” I’m sorry, but where we came from rules from the apartment complex did not matter, when it came to your FRIENDS’ belongings. So her roommate gave it away.
She also thinks it’s funny to say bad things about young marriage (although her parents were married at 18) and to say I have no friends, I never do anything, all I do is work and go to school. My response is yes, I am busy but I do have friends. Who is she to judge what I do? And why can she not see that I’m happy with the life that I have? I would SO much rather come home to the same wonderful man every single night, then to have to go through the whole stage of meeting a new guy at the bar, or going on another awkward first date. I honestly feel completely Blessed with the direction my life is going in, and its unfortunate that as my former best friend, she doesn’t get to see that.
These sound like extremely small things, and they are. I have purposely not included the hurtful words, catty actions and other things that have torn this friendship apart. At this point, this friendship is done, what is the best way to deal with that? She comes into my work saying she misses me and I want to completely ignore it without being immature but that’s not sincere and I don’t want to hear it. What do I do when she says she wants to hang out? Is it the lost cause I think it is to actually talk to her about it? Am I to blame for this? Do friendships normally end because two people honestly don’t care enough to fix it? I’m at a loss guys. I’ve been through a break up or two but this is the only friendship that has ever failed. Feel free to leave advice/comments. However, please no negative comments (they will be deleted) constructive critism only please.
Hope everyone has a Blessed night!!